Wednesday Practice

Yukio and I were invited to a practice yesterday at Irwindale Speedway. The place where I experience my very first Formula Drift 9 years ago, where we first met two years ago. I thought it would be a good trial run to see how difficult it was with a wheelchair. It's not easy (no shit Emma). Seeing that smile and hearing that "OH NO!" when he saw some of his friends made everything worth it. It always does, it's indescribable how much joy I feel to see another human that I love so ecstatic. The feeling of being unwelcome is definitely overshadowed but Yukio's smile, it always is. There are not enough adjectives in the two and a half languages I know that can describe how his happiness melts the world away when Yukio smiles and says "thank you".

Being on the track was emotional for me (selfish statements coming, watch out). I've been raised to have an unbiased compassion for everyone I meet, which is why I have always tried to be friendly with everyone. Unfortunately, when you hold people to your standards, you will constantly be disappointed and stressed. So let it go. When we were at Care Meridian, we had talked about whether or not we should or should not go to this event. We decided that we would stand together and go. The past few months have flown by, but felt like years to get to that point yesterday. Again, seeing his smile made the time and the bullshit stand still.

I'm very proud of my partner for not giving up. We have traveled so many highs and lows, but he never gave up. He is still embarrassed by how his stroke has left him, but I always remind him to embrace what is now apart of him. I always told him "if you give up, I will drag you to the finish line. I'm not going to let you give up on yourself". For someone who was at the more dependent state of existence to now, it makes me wonder the story he'll tell one day.

I hope that one day we will be old together in the garage, working on the Subaru, and talking about how we made it against all the odds. But one thing I have learned, is that life is uncertain, it is unpredictable. One thing I do know, is that no matter what we will always love each other deeply. Life is not black and white, it is beautifully colorful.

Thank you team Achilles for making Yukio feel so special yesterday.