This weekend was a little more restful than most. We had few visitors come over to spend time with Yukio for a bit and some people come over to talk about our big project that we are going to start creating soon.
Oddly enough, I really enjoy being at work, like to the point where I look forward to coming back after the weekend. I've started a kick boxing class to get my stress out and even decided on going to a concert in December as a Christmas gift to myself . These things make me feel selfish; backwards, I know. I hear it all the time "take care of yourself", but when I decide to do so, I get criticized for it. Solution? In the words of the great Dillon Francis; IDGAFOS.
Like I said in the last post, I have started to like myself again. Over the last year or so I have definitely lost myself a bit. It's odd that during such a confusing and scary time, I found myself and my voice again. While so many tend to relish in the shit pile, I get told that I can't stand up for myself. Out of all the documents I have signed over the past 4.5 months, not one has said that I have to cater to anyone but my partner. Not one document has ever said I have to validate myself to anyone. I do the very best I can with no help (myself being the only person to handle the bulk of things) and for being 24. I am still growing and learning life. One thing that I have learned, is that you can only count on one hand those who truly have your back always.
So are there any other young caregivers such as myself in a parallel or similar situation? In the sense that we are young and taking care of our partners? I'd like to hear stories of how you guys get through the challenges, take care of yourselves, and just everything in general. Again, broken record here, does anyone feel guilty for making yourselves happy? When you buy a nice blouse or the newest Two Faced bronzer, does anyone feel like it's not deserved? I hope this sounding board can comfort someone in knowing that they are not alone in this difficult battle.
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