Just Tired.

With everything going, I like maybe I should be writing everything down. Up until Yukio came home, I didn't want to post about the shit I had to deal with because it was heavy stuff. I will say, some of Yukio's "friends" turned out to be complete pieces of shit and try to tear me down with spreading the bad times that we had in our relationship to try and make ME look bad. Congratulations! You just made Yukio look bad also, good job being a "friend".


In all honesty, I did feel really sorry for myself in the beginning. I was depressed, I was alone, and I had more than what I've told few going on. I've heard and had people ask when Yukio was going to recover because they need a turbo for their SEMA build. Fuck you all and your worthless cars. The hardest thing for myself is that I am a very private person. Yukio loved being public, so now everyone feels a sense of ownership and entitlement to every little detail of his health. I promise you all, I will not give that to you, especially not publicly.


It is a problem when someone unrelated by blood takes legal power of someone. I needed to step in the way I have because nothing was getting done for Yukio and I was raised to not just sit on the sidelines. The whole situation is very sad, especially since he does have a willing and able brother. Unfortunately, dedicating his life or even being around, or even texting me once in a blue moon is wishful thinking on my end. I had a little chat with him last night and hopefully that will make him realize that sometimes being emotionally involved is better than the logistics of things.


Surprisingly, I seem to be thriving under pressure and been taking good care of myself. I have been juicing, eating healthy, and taking my vitamins. All this has been making me loose weight, which makes me extra happy! I would love to work out to actually look better, but there are literally not enough hours in the day. Maybe one day. I am also lucky to have my best friend Katrina who has been supportive to me through thick and thin. Everyone along the way has also helped and been good pillars to lean on, which I love you all for.


My biggest challenge now is to keep on top of the caregivers. They are all really sweet, but one messed up a dose of medicine, another has a suspended driver's license and couldn't take Yukio to the doctors, and the one we really liked is not comfortable because she is so tiny. Oh, and the first two like to eat my food and not bring their lunch. This all may seem like bitching and moaning, but trust me, at 24 years old, I didn't expect to be so responsible and such a hard ass. However, someone has to.


I am hoping that things get settled soon, I really do enjoy having Yukio back home with me, although it is extremely tiring. I love seeing him happy, his smile makes my days worth it.


Again, I do not feel like I need to disclose more than the good times, so enjoy what I write, and we are looking forward to seeing some of you back on the track one day.